Sarcastic Remarks for the ladies

  • And your cry baby whiny assed opinion would be.....?
  • Do I look like a f#@ing people person?
  • This isn’t an office, it’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
  • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer.
  • If I throw a stick will you leave??
  • YOU!.... Off my planet!
  • If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I’ll put shoes on my cats.
  • Does your train of thought have a caboose?
  • The bible was written by the same people who said the earth was flat.
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
  • Errors have been made, others will be blamed.
  • Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.
  • Whatever look you were going for, you missed.
  • Well, this day was a total waste of make-up .
  • See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
  • Are these your eyeballs, I found them in my cleavage.
  • I’m not your type, I’m not inflatable.
  • Not all men are annoying, some are dead.
  • Did I mention that kick in the groin you’ll be receiving if you touch me?
  • It’s not the size that coun... no wait, it’s the size!
  • A woman’s favorite position is CEO
  • I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
  • Okay, Okay, I take it back! UnF@#k you!
  • Too many freaks not enough circuses.
  • Macho law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.
  • I plead contemporary insanity.
  • And which dwarf are you?
  • How do I set the laser printer to stun?

 

 

Send your jokes to: tracy@salvagesalvageonline.com